Sep 12

We had a Great Day

The day after HDs one day visit H and I were talking about it.   We had 2 threesomes, one before we brought our daughter home and one after she went to sleep.  I remarked that we really did stuff a lot of sex into a short amount of time.  “Yeah” said H, “it was a great day.”

Instantly we both flashed on the theme song to our 4 year old’s favorite show, The Fresh Beat Band:

The song’s lyrics are:
                                We had a Great Day
                                What a Super Way
                                To Spe -eeee -end
                               Some Time Together.

Now every time our daughter watches The Fresh Beat Band, which she does nearly every night, I can’t help but think of kinky sex.

Thank you, Nickelodeon

Sep 12

So Much Fun

I originally wrote this August 12, 2012.  I didn’t realize that I didn’t post it until I logged in today to start on another post.  Whoops.

HD was in town overnight last week, so we had a threesome.  Then we picked up our 4 year old, had dinner, put her to sleep and had another threesome.  It was so much fun, SO MUCH FUN!

I just love this stuff.  I can’t help, I just do.

And here’s something else I just love —- H and HD are really good friends.  Their friendship goes way back.

They’ve known each other for more than 20 plus years, since they were just barely college graduates.  Hell, they knew each other when they both had full heads of hair.  HD knows H, really knows him.  HD knows H the way I know him — deeply, fully really.

We both know H is kinda lazy.   And he’s a lot more tolerant of dirt than most.  But if a threesome is in the plan H becomes very helpful around the house.   If nudity is involved he’ll do just about anything to make sure I get in a good mood and stay in a good mood.

HD and I had a laugh about that and, while it was a laugh at H’s expense, it was nonetheless full of affection for him.  It’s a different kind of affection coming from me than it is coming from HD, but we are both really connected to H.

Perhaps, in time, this kind of conversation would have become possible even if we didn’t all have sex together.  Perhaps the sexual stuff just sped it along.  But perhaps not.

There’s a kind of relaxed openness that comes after you’ve had sex together.  Or, at least it there can be.  And I just don’t see the three of us having had the opportunity to be like that together except for this.  I love being able to laugh affectionately at H’s foibles with someone who knows him and has a deep connection to him.  It’s sharing something very sweet.

Jun 12

More than Great, Less than Ideal

IT and BB are a thing of the past, and we continue to have an annual threesome with HD and an annual foursome with HD and OW. It’s so much fun, sooooo much fun.  More than fun actually, it’s satisfying in a deep and profound way.  I may have a need for atypical sexual experiences the way other people have a need for typical ones.

H and I have been too busy to look for another couple, one that is geographically closer and philosophically desirous of the kind of relationship we want. We both work full time, have a business on the weekends and evenings, and have a young child. We just don’t have the time to date another couple.

I’m a little concerned that we’re simply becoming satisfied with our few annual forays. They’re wonderful —- and the more often they happen the better they become.  HD was in town for a couple of nights recently and, by the last night, there was almost none of that initial awkwardness.  And, as always happens when you get more comfortable with each other, the sex gets better and better.

It’s great —- more than great really.  But it’s not ideal.

I may have to simply accept that this is all I can get.  But, if I had my druthers,  it simply isn’t enough.  I still want a full blooded, vibrant relationship. I want to have private jokes, knowing looks, absentminded affection AND fabulous, sweaty, uninhibited, unbelievable sex.  I have that with H, and I know it’s simply greedy of me but I also want it with H and others.

If HD and OW were close enough to have sex with more regularly I’m sure I would satisfy myself with that and never look for another couple.  So maybe it’s a good thing that they are so far.  Because our recent long weekend with HD just left me wanting more weekends.  And wanting more weekends, makes me want more than just weekends.

It’s a rare and difficult thing, I know. It’s hard enough to get it with one other person, let alone 2 or more. What we have with HD and OW is great, more than great actually. But it’s only twice a year, and I really want more than that.

I’m hungry for group sex AND relationship. Very hungry. What we have with HD and OW is enough to stave off starvation, but it certainly isn’t sustaining.

And yet — I’m just not ready to go back on the hunt.  In March I took a bad blow to the knee, in May I had knee surgery.  (HD’s visit was a month after the injury, when I was up and around, but before I had surgery.)  I’m just not up to it physically right now.

BUT I am well enough to think about it, and I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately.

Dec 11

Fine Feathered Friends

Whoops — I was supposed to publish this in September.  I wrote it, and apparently forgot to hit the publish button.  Sorry.  Anyway, here it is:

We just came back from our annual trip to visit Herr Direktor and Other Wife.  What a great weekend.  We had our annual foursome and that was so much fun, just so much damn fun!  It’s too bad they live so far from us,  I could definately do that more often.

The thing about a foursome (or any sexual situation with unfamiliar partners) is that the first 5 minutes are incredibly awkward.  REALLY awkward.  Even though you know you want to do this, even though you have been in these shoes before, even though you’ve been thinking about it all day —- the first 5 minutes are still wierd.

So I had to say something.  It wasn’t much, just “wow the first few minutes are awkward,” but it was really helpful for me.  We all got a giggle, and a minute later we were all naked and it wasn’t at all awkward.

Jul 11


BB turned out to be wrong.  Just plain amazingly, astonishingly wrong.  He was the most selfish man I have ever known in real life.  And it’s not obvious.  I mean, we’ve known him for years and it we didn’t really know him until we started a sexual relationship with them.  There are lots of examples, LOTS of them.  Here’s one:

BB and IT have been together for a long time.  When they first got together neither wanted children.  Now that she’s in her late 30s, IT is thinking that maybe she wants a child of her own.  H and I have a young child, IT loves being around her.  And she loves being around IT.  Or she did.

BB got the idea that the more time IT spent around our daughter the more she would want a child of her own.  And he basically made her stop seeing our daughter.   It broke IT’s heart.  And, during the entire time this was all imploding he never once expressed concern for anyone other than himself.

Selfish prick!

This experience has taught me something really great about myself.  Now, when I find out a man is a prick, I’m no longer attracted to him.  This is a big change, and I’m really happy about it.

BB continues to be a big part of H’s martial arts world.  IN the last month or so the 4 of us got together to talk things out and to celebrate IT’s birthday.  We didn’t really talk as honestly as I would have liked.  In the final analysis H and I both knew that BB wasn’t the kind of man who could hear what others say.  He’s just too self centered.  And we knew that if we were truly honest with BB it would blow up.  He would no longer be the important part of the Martial Arts Club that he is and we would never be able to maintain a friendship with IT.  So we softpedaled to allow for these relationships.  It was a tactical move.

Here’s the thing though — BB is still very attracted to me.  He has definately put out lots of feelers for a friends with benefits kind of relationship.  He’s dropped lots of hints, made lots of comments just dripping with innuendo.

He wants me.  And he’s never going to have me again.  He blew it by being a selfish prick.  He’ll want me, and never have me.   I can’t tell you how happy that makes me.

May 11

Herr Direktor

OG has come and gone. The three of us had our adventure and it was fabulous. Well, we actually had two nights, and they were fabulous.
But along the way H and OG teased me about the moniker OG. I’m not particulary fond of being teased, so I’m changing his alias. I’m going to use the secret nickname I had since the night the four of us were together: Herr Director.
We all know why.

May 11

Busy, Busy, Busy

It’s been a while since I’ve written.  I’ve been too busy having sex to actually write about it.  And it has been mostly awesome and partly really annoying.

H and I have begun a relationship with IT and BB.  IT is lovely.  She wants to be a part of our lives.  IT came over and helped me cook for a big dinner party, she babysits for us once a week so I can go to a class.  She’s practical and down to earth and I like her.  I think she would make a great sister wife. But I don’t think that will end up happening.

When I lived in New York I refused to date artists, writers or actors.  They tend to a have high strung difficult disposition.  You know, the pain in the watusi prima donna.  I hate that.

BB, it turns out, has that disposition.  What a pain.  IT and I kid around sometimes about what  drama queen BB is.   Plus he sort of goes into an emotional cave when he’s working on something.  He has pissed me off so much that I have almost broken it off with him on a couple of occasions.  H has actually interceded on BB’s behalf several times.

H and I don’t think it would work long term with BB and IT.  BB is a prima donna and that annoys me to no end.  And, after all, they are a package deal.  But we’ve had lots of fun sex with them.  We had a really fun foursome in our living room, then BB and I went to one bedroom and H and IT went to another.

So, in our minds they’ve kind of been downgraded from potential partners to playmates.  They could end up inching their way back up again, but that’s where we are now.

Apr 11

It’s a Good Weekend

H and I had sex 5 times in 2 days.  4 times with each other, once with BB and IT.

They came over Saturday.   The four of us have been talking, and texting, and emailing like crazy for the last 2 weeks.  We have really shared a lot with each other about each other.  In the course of that pretty intense series of conversations we all came to the conclusion that it wouldn’t work as a group thing.

That’s not what H and I were looking for, what we envisioned.   The core of our lives is each other, and we thought the best way to really protect that is to have our experiences together.  Plus, we just plain like group thing.  But the 4 of us wouldn’t work as a group.  So H and I talked and agreed that it would be OK if he had experiences with IT and I had experiences with BB.

Then we talked about it with IT and BB and they were  OK with it.  We talked a lot.  BB has cut down considerably, but he still hasn’t fully quit smoking.  So talking was as far as it was going.

Then H and IT started an email correspondence one day.  She was home burning vacation days and H was at work, bored out of his skull (as usual).  The emails happened in quick succession.  In the course of one day the emails went from “Hey, how’s it going?” to “when can we be naked?”

H and IT moved things along.  So, when BB and IT came over for a late dinner we all knew where it was going, and, guess what, that’s exactly where it went.

And it was good.

Mar 11

An Embarasment of Riches

The NFL draft is coming. Which means that OG will be coming to town. H and OG go to the NFL draft every year, then OG spends the night here and H, OG and I will have a threesome.

A few months later H and I will visit OG and OW and we’ll have a foursome. It’s pretty much a done deal. We’re developing our own little kinky tradition —– somewhere between Same Time, Next Year and Debbie does Dallas.

OG will be here in about 6 weeks, and that’s hot.

BB is quitting smoking and that’s hot.

When it comes to BB I’m really excited by the possibilities.  He’s local, he’s attractive, he’s smart.    He and I have always had a great connection, and now there’s a great connection and a sexual tension.  He’s quitting smoking just to be with me.  He’s agreeing to a threesome with another man just to be with me.   That’s a lot.   I just love that.

I seem to spend a lot of time thinking about both of the scenarios.  Some days it’s H and OG some days it’s H and BB, some days I can’t decide.  I don’t know which I prefer right now. I’ll tell you this, though —- I’m having trouble keeping focused on other things, like, for example, work.  At least in my fantasies, it’s an embarrassment of riches.

Mar 11

Meanwhile, Back at the Ranch

In the meanwhile though, there have been other interesting developments.  We have been friends with another couple for about  4-5 years.  He’s a black belt, she’s an IT expert.

I’ve always had a great connection with BB.  Like me, he has a background in Philosophy and an interest in leftie politics.  Every so often we would discuss Wittgenstein, or Aristotle, or whoever.

BB and IT have been to our house for dinner, for holidays, for the hell of it.  But they didn’t live together and we always wondered about that.  Now we know why.

It’s because she’s actually married to someone else —- has been for many, many years.  They’re poly and she pretty much spends every weekend at BB’s.   It sounds like IT and her husband are roommates and partners but they haven’t been lovers for a very long time.  She has toyed with the idea of leaving him for a long time, and is starting to act on it.

IT’s complicated personal life makes it difficult to consider her for the immediate future.  It could happen, but lots of things have to happen first.

But BB is a different story.   He wants a relationship with me, really wants one.  And I’m interested.  We have always connected.  It could be great.  But it has to be within the context of a relationship that includes H.  H is my core.   I was very upfront with BB about that and he’s fine with that.

The other thing is that BB smokes.  Bleech!  I can’t stand the smell of it.  I told him that if he wanted anything with me he would have to give up smoking.  And you know what —- he is quitting.

That’s big.  HUGE.

I don’t know where it’s going.  It could end up being just a local playmate, or we could all end being together in just the way I imagine.  Who knows?  But whatever happens, I can’t wait for what the next chapter brings.